Current mood: amused

Hi everyone,

I am an Ebay addict.

I just cannot stay away from that damned site. Having racked up over 400 purchases, I guess you could say the thirst for stuff will not be abating anytime soon.

Two weeks ago, I bought some Kona Coffee on Ebay and figured since it costs $45 a pound on the mainland here, buying it for $17 from an Ebay seller who grinds the stuff himself in Kona (allegedly) was worth a risk.

It turned out to be one of my better purchases. In fact, the coffee was so good, I got into a bidding war over this seller's coffee last night. It got ugly folks...but heh, heh...I won. So there.

The thrill of the chase, the pleasure in making immediate payment was quickly followed by the sudden jolt that today is yet another bloody holiday in the US, which means I won't get my coffee probably until next week.

After a few hysterical moments, I pondered my addiction. Am I gambler? A hopless spendthrift? What category does this secret society of addicts fall into anyway?

So many of my friends have recently confessed the same addiciton to me that we now SUPPORT one another in absolutely stupid, unecessary expenditures.

My BFF bought yet another tool kit. He has a hundred of them that have never been opened.

"Way to go!" I cheered.

Another friend has bought the same Royal Albert tea set four times. 

"I don't want anyone else to have it," she whispered over the phone. "Besides, this is earthquake country. I have sets stashed all over the house...just in case."

"Absolutely!" I replied. "Good thinking!"

"You should buy more coffee," she said kindly. "A.J, you absolutely must buy another bag of coffee. You deserve it."

I have made some daft purchases. My big crush on Viggo Mortensen led me to buying his  book A Hole in the Sun. $37 for the book, $4.95 for shipping, I paced the outside of my building until that book arrived.

And it is awful. He might be the sexiest guy ever, but man, this book would never have been published if Viggo hadn't published it himself. It's a book of photos of the same pool. Different times of day, different times of the year.

What, are you kidding me with this crap? Like his music (if you can call it that, especially the codswallop he recorded with Bucket Head), his books will cure you of your crush, guaranteed. I turned right around and sold that book for the same price I bought it. Thank you Ebay! 

So two nights ago, my coffee bidding war began. Now as a hardened, mainlining addict, I know you're supposed to wait until the last five seconds to bid on an auction but I've been screwed before by esnipers. Besides, I am a happier, peppier person when I am bidding on an auction.

So here are my top ten signs you might be an Ebay Addict:

10. You wake up in the middle of the night to bid on an auction. You just don't trust esnipe to do its thing for you.

9. You check the mail constantly and berate the carrier when your Ebay purchase fails to arrive...even though your auction just closed today.

8. You feverishly check your progress on your auction, ready to pounce with a new bid. Even though you can't afford it.

7. You obsess and stress about your auction...even when on the outside you look perfectly normal. Except maybe for the tic in your left eye.

6. You scrutinize spending habits of bid competitors. i.e.You play the 'how high will they go?' game with yourself.

5. You get so mad when somebody beats you on an auction, you check the bidder's stats and deliberately outbid them on something else they are bidding on. Just to show them! Yeah, you drive up the price on their auction...and then get stuck with some bloody awful stuff you really don't want.

4. You send emails to the seller begging them to sell to you if the actual winner fails to pony up the $$$.

3. You bid an absurdly high amount because it'll never go that high...then it does.

2. You lie about your purchases, hide them or...re-sell (often at a loss).

1. You blog about it.

Aloha oe,

A.J.