Current mood: ecstatic

I am surprised to find myself back in Waikiki today. Surprised but oh, so happy. My BFF Clare and I were at a Hawaiian concert a few weeks ago and filled out forms for a contest to win a trip for two to Honolulu. Well, of course, it was clear when the questions went on and on and on, that it was a sham.  I filled out my form claiming I had seventy five children and guess what, me and the kids won an all expenses paid five day trip to Waikiki!

I've never won anything in my life. Yep, it was one of those time share pitches but Clare and I went along to the pitch meeting a couple of days ago and the requirements for our trip weren't too bad.  In fact, they were downright enticing. I am sure I sounded like the world's crappiest parent when I assured the time share folk that my seventy five children can fend for themselves until next Wednesday, but my bags were already packed in my mind.

I wish we hadn't written that our income was in the millions...with our stated income on our entry forms, Clare and I were eyed like prize steers all afternoon....but...a free trip to Waikiki! 

Clare and I huddled in the corner and decided we could brave the strong-arm tactics, we could handle the grim seminar we are required to handle tomorrow. and the final, last minute death-defying condo tour on Monday.

And yes, I mean tomorrow. We plunked down our maxed out credit cards - not that the trip is costing us anything, but they wanna make sure we're not total deadbeats - and we flew out last night on an overnight flight.

After a horrendous start at the airport and some fiftul dozing on the packed, lurching plane, we found ourselves on a shuttle bus to a very nice condo hotel on the beach at Waikiki.

In the few months since I was last here (well, December, actually) travel in the US is even trickier than before. Try finding a human being to help you as you check in. I had experienced this automated check in process before, since my last three trips to Hawaii have been via United Airlines, except that our paperless, e tickets were not in the system.

So there we were with our Aloha gear and no seats on the plane. Turns out some bozo named Justin booked our tickets under the name of the timeshare bunch. And guess what, that's just one way. On Tuesday, when we fly home again, we have to meet another Bozo at Honolulu Airport who will give us the code for our return portion of the trip.

I can't afford a condo in Hawaii. I can barely afford a cup of coffee in Hawaii...and neither can my seventy five kids, but I am trying to qualify for a loan to buy a bookstore and want to keep my eye on it...

Anyway,  we checked our bags through and then Justin informed us that upon our arrival in Waikiki we would have plenty of spare time, but we would be required to attend a host of functions aimed at getting us to part with some greenbacks.

We chewed our nails until we arrived in Waikiki.

"See you at the introductory lunch," Justin smiled.

Not if I can keep hiding from him...

We got to our room and I was stunned to pad out onto the lanai and see a submerged yacht in the Pacific ocean right outside our room. We changed into swimsuits and crept past Jason who stood officiously in the lobby with a clipcoard, and we ran down to the beach.

Half the winners of the vacation package were there and we recognized each other from the plane. We swam out to the sinking boat, which apparently collided with another boat three days ago and has been abandoned by its owners. We swam all around it, investigating the yacht underwater as Justin marched up and down the beach calling out names.

Each time he emerged from the hotel screaming "Prize winners....I know you're out there!" we held our breaths and remained under water, trying not to laugh. At last, he gave up and went to his own room to have a nervous breakdown.

Clare and I wandered down the beach with some of our fellow voyagers to this amazing place I had never been to before. It's actually a stunning, oceanside cafe that serves only the military. Honolulu ordinance insists that those who 'wander' in must be allowed to stay because you are not allowed to own a beach in Hawaii...and the prices are stupid. I mean, absolutely, stony, stupidly, damned cheap. Fifty cents for a cup of coffee!

Since food is no longer served on overnight flights (we discovered that the hard way) and Clare's smuggled sandwiches were removed from her luggage by the airport security screeners, along with her lip gloss and tweezers (I did try to warn her), we were starving. The prices in this military cafe were a joke. I don't think the menu items or the prices have changed since the 1950s.

It was the first time I'd seen Clare smile since we got on the Super Shuttle for LAX last night.

Our breakfast was not just cheap, but wonderful and we strolled back to our room, planning our day. Clare won the toss up for the first shower and we're heading for our favorite haunts this afternoon. We'll go to look at my bookshop and make sure it's still standing. I'll treat her to a late lunch at the Waioli Tea Room, which was once Robert Louis Stevenson's guest house. 

And maybe, just maybe we can avoid a seminar or two before the evening rolls around...

I am here writing all this as a large, luminous rainbow appears over the horizon. I am here. I am in Paradise.

Aloha oe,

AJ

Currently reading : Hawai’i One Summer (Latitude 20 Book) By Maxine Hong Kingston