Current mood: amused

Hi everyone,

I have been in a wonderful, fugue-like state writing my promised Christmas book for eXtasy Books and I am three quarters done. This one is a sequel to A Vampire in Waikiki which comes out in September and I am really, seriously infatuated with my two vampire lovers, Tem and Jimmy Thunder.

It's been an interesting challenge creating a whole different take on Hawaii from a vampire's point of view to Kimo & Lopaka...and yet, something was not quite clicking into place on A Vampire Christmas. So when a girlfriend of mine called yesterday and invited the gang around for lemon muffins and blueberry tea, I went, thinking a break would do me good.

I could not for the life of me figure out what was missing in A Vampire Christmas, but as I sat sipping that fantastic tea, I let my mind ponder the plot progress. I had some fun stuff I felt...but...everyone was talking and I was embarrassed that I had been so distracted and I rushed to cover up my lack of attention.

My hostess held up a box of chocolates that had been sitting on the coffee table, a giant K on the cover. She opened it up and there were maybe ten chocolates, each with the letter K on them.

The woman sitting beside me and I both reached forward and took a piece of chocolate and ate them. Our hostess looked appalled.

How was I supposed to know we'd just consumed the world's most expensive chocolates? Each one cost $10.

"$10?" I mumbled. "What the hell is in them? Gold?"

"No, something even more valuable."

She had my attention now.

"They're female Viagra."

"You have got to be kidding me," I spluttered. "They don't even taste very good."

But believe it or not, a lot of not so happy housewives flock to the K Store in Beverly Hills to purchase the stuff and apparently they work. My companion squirmed in her seat, blood rushing to her face, and according to her, her...ah...innie. I was mesmerized, a new plot strand forming in my mind.

"Christ...I'm so horny the doorknobs are starting to look real good," she moaned, sweating like a pig in heat.

"Don't look at me," I said, sliding a few feet away from her. I felt very sorry for her considering she's single, unattached and doomed to dating weirdos via voice mail for the rest of her life.

Our hostess informed us that women are supposed to eat one chocolate at 4pm, one at 8pm and voila...one happy husband gets to be the beneficiary of all this chemical-induced horniness.

Who knew?

I know only this. I had in that moment discovered what was missing from my book. I needed the funny. And this was it. Yep, I've changed a few names to protect the horny...I mean, the innocent, and I have stolen it all, yep, every single damned thing that happened.

Just call me A Vampire Thief in West Los Angeles.

Aloha oe,

A.J. 

Currently listening : Wooden Boat By Keola Beamer Release date: 1994-07-19