Hi Everyone,

The very nice and very, very naughty ladies at Nice 'N' Naughty blogspot asked me to take the wheel this morning and steer you into a little corner of my world. Well, what could be naughtier than Bowling For Porn Stars?
I did just that on Saturday night and I would like to say, it was fun. It was actually kinda creepy but fear not, intrepid readers, I did it. In the interest of blogdom, curiosity and plain, old fashioned rubber necking.
Yep, as I bowled on Saturday night, I felt like I was watching multiple collisions. You see, I have a friend who is a porn star. It's not something we talk about often. Interestingly, despite the fact she does porn, she wasn't very enthused about my erotic romance novels, despite the plethora of explicit sex. She was turned off by the gay themes...mind you she has sex with women in her movies!
Okay, so here's how it worked. A few ladies of the X trade ran an ad and their 'fans' paid ridiculous sums of money to bowl with them, nude. My friend however, bowled merely topless. Don't ask me why. Her body was better than a lot of the chicks there and a whole heap better than the 'fans' who ripped off their kit and started bowling...balls...they were everywhere!
It was bizarre watching these truly creepy, ugly guys falling over themselves to bowl with a few nude women.
One guy fell over his own tongue and got a gutterball - three alleys over!
My friend spent all night kissing and hugging her fans who all brought even creepier friends with digital cameras. She posed for pics and bowled.
Strike!
Her husband who is her frequent co-star, got hot and heavy with a couple of women and I just stared in mute dismay. But what could I say? They host swinging parties I just pretend to not know about. I just didn't particularly enjoy being witness to the crumbling scene around me.
I mean, I really went there to bowl...I had no idea an orgy was in the making.
I must be the most naive writer of porn/erotica, EVER!
I kept thinking, do they really want these gross strangers touching them? But then I realized, gross strangers actually fuck her. Thank God in her movies, she gets guys a lot better looking and cleaner than the motly crew who showed up on Saturday night.
I'm told the er...party continued at her house after we played our last frame. I am not a prude, but this was just not sexy to me. Not provocative at all.
I'll tell you something else...I had another experience last week and it felt just as icky. I was dragged to meet that Hugging Guru from India. My friend paid a couple of hundred bucks to take me and when I reached the Hugging Guru, I could honestly not understand what the fuss was about.
I did feel a wave of nausea though in that hot room when she put her arms around me and forced my head to her breast. It was covered in slobber...not my own.
It got me thinking on Saturday night as I hugged my porn star friend and waved her goodbye. Her breasts were covered in slobber too, but at least she's honest.
There was no 'spiritual' pretension here. No promise of a higher state, riches, wealth or whatever these 'gurus' are selling.
No, my friend was bowling for porn and got a little extra...er...somethin' somethin' out of it as well.
All in all, I preferred Bowling For Porn than I did hugging a guru. It was actually sexier because it wasn't labelling itself as anything other than it was.
Excuse me...I need a shower...

Aloha oe,

AJ