Current mood: amused

Hi everyone,
I have been dying to tackle the topic of how I do not believe in Writer's Block. I had that inclination smacked out of me. You see, many writers talk about the dreaded WB but as a trained journalist who rose the ranks of a daily newspaper, I was not allowed the luxury of giving into WB. Not much would have been written if I gave into WB, but then, I was so fortunate to have a news editor who would not allow me to believe in it.
His name was CJ McKenzie and he is probably long dead. Oh, he was an absolute ogre with foul breath, grotesque facial features thanks to a hideous drinking problem. He was a classic "newso" with a fifth of scotch, a quarter finished novel and the filthiest hanky in the world in his bottom drawer.
You guessed it, I absolutely adored him.
CJ always had a row of red pencils in his breast pocket that colored the seam so it looked like he was slowly bleeding. He red penciled everything, even bar menus and handed them back to hapless waiters.
He had been an actor who never said the word Macbeth - it was "The Scottish Play" and his superstitions didn't end there. It was the same with WB.
CJ taught me the muse is always there, but not at our convenience.
His hard line in writerly thinking and that damned red pencil taught me well. On those dreaded midnight to dawn shifts when I could not find the right words, he spanked my hands with a ruler. truly.
"Write," he would holler. "Just DO it." In those days, computers did not exist and I pounded away on a big old typewriter using carbon copies. Oh, I can still smell those blue sheets!
I have an inner CJ and God help me, my own muse looks just like him. I find when I am kept away from the 'puter, I become a total jerk...but actually do some of my best writing, believe it or not.
Cooking is the perfect "simmering" time. Walking the dog I get tons of ideas too, if I allow my mind to drift and focus on my books and not on things like playing "beat the bank" with deposits etc.
For some unfair reason I get my best ideas in the car and I use a Dictaphone recorder to make notes.
I carry a small note book and pen at all times in my pocket. I'm a gay man, but not ashamed to say Hello Kitty rides shotgun with me. I have tons of those pink pens and note books. I will stop and make notes. The dog is used to it and has accepted with some alacrity that I am a weirdo.
You can often find me in the bathroom at parties, writing stuff on toilet paper. It's dialogue I scribble mostly because I am the nosiest person alive and no conversation is secret with me around. I jot down scraps because it's the cadence I might miss when I am back at my desk fleshing things out.
When all else fails I call my own voice mail and leave a message with a line I've suddenly come up with. But don't forget, living is what we writers should be doing in between cranking out those pages.
So what about you, how weird is your muse and what lengths have you gone to in order to obey him or her?

Aloha oe,
A.J.

Currently listening : Wonderful World By Israel Iz Kamakawiwo'ole Release date: 2007-06-26