Current mood: adventurous

Hi everyone,

Well, I've had an interesting five days so far in Waikiki. Waiting for a meeting with Honolulu City Council on a bookstore I'd like to buy. You are reminded you're on Hawaii Time by everybody, even the Tiki Trolley and The Bus drivers when you're here, which means, shut up dude, and relax. So yesterday, I gave up stressing and moved from one friend's place to another. My friend Tony whose girlfriend just left him, suggested I come and stay with him for a few days. He is pining for her and I am pining for an answer. What a pair we are.

So yesterday, he asked me what I was working on so feverishly. I was hammering out final edits on my new book A Vampire in Waikiki, which comes out next week, the same day as eXtasy Books' paperback anthology Sanguinary Seductions in which I have two short stories. Tony was seriously missing his girl and clearly wanted to talk, but was content to watch reruns of 24 as I kept working.

I mentioned that A Vampire in Waikiki has a few scenes in the most famous gay bar in town – Hula's Bar and Lei Stand – and that's when my troubles began.

"We should go there, soak up the atmosphere."

"But you're straight," I reminded him.

"I don't care. I have a Hui card. We get free entry and cheap Mai Tais from 5 to 7 on Sunday."

"How come you know so much about a gay bar, Tony?"

He rolled his eyes. "I know about good, cheap drinks, AJ. "

Tony was speaking the language of me, AJ Llewellyn and soon, after agreeing to one drink each, we were walking from his apartment right on Kalakaua Avenue to Kapahulu Avenue a few blocks away. The place was rocking. The Hui card got us in free as predicted, and the drinks were awesome.

Tony was pissed because as he went from our table to the bar, guys kept feeling him up. Geez…I tried it twice and nobody was feeling me up. Then he was pissed because some good looking Asian guy was sending him free drinks. Geez, I wasn't getting any of those, either.

"You don't give off that available vibe, AJ."

"I'm not trying to. I'm not looking. I'm busy. I'm--"

Tony shook his head. "You don't make eye contact."

Eye contact? No wonder they're all copping feels.

"You're always writing in that stupid notebook, AJ. And it would help if you weren't wearing your I-Pod headphones."

"What?" I shouted. The bartender was pretty generous with the booze and I started to worry less that the giant catamaran that dangles from the middle of the ceiling would fall and land right on my head.

Actually, I was starting not to give a shit about anything.   

And then the old biddy in a holoku dress came in and tried to flog me roses. "I don't want a rose, but here's two dollars."

"Have a rose."

"Thank you, but I don't want one." I was beginning to regret my relentless niceness and Tony was now kissing a hairy guy in a red Aloha shirt.

"My daughter is a psychic," the old lady announced.

"That's nice." I glanced up at the catamaran, suddenly wishing it would fall. I swear, the strangest people always come up and talk to me.

"She can give you a reading."

"I'd like a reading," Tony piped up and next thing I knew, we were being bundled into a smelly old Pinto and being driven up Nu'uanu Pali by the old lady who floored the  Pinto like she was Danica Patrick on crack.

"We're in trouble, Tony," I whined.

"Was I just kissing a guy?  I keep finding hairs in my teeth."

"Yes, Tony. You were kissing a guy." I spotted white chicken feathers all over the floor. Jee-zus. The old bat was some kind of voodoo nut. She was going to sacrifice us to some island god of roses and corn or something. She was going to punish me for declining one of her bloody roses.

Tony smacked his lips. "Wasn't that bad, actually."

Now I'd heard everything. I waited for us to hit a red light but we were going further and further into the wilds and now we were careening across the top of the Pali into an area of no street lights, no…nothing.

"I'm going to be sick," Tony announced.

"Not in my car, you don't." The old lady screeched to a stop and we tumbled into the front seat, smacking our faces on the dashboard. I did the dutiful friend thing and helped Tony out and the old lady took off, leaving us in the middle of nowhere.

"You think she's coming back?" Tony asked after he quit barfing.

"No, Tony, I don't think she's coming back."

I helped him to his feet and in the now blanketing darkness, wondered how many hours it would take us to get back to Waikiki from the top of the world.

"It's beautiful isn't it?" Tony looked at the Honolulu city lights below us.

"Yeah, it's beautiful." And in truth, it was.

We started walking home. "What do you think the psychic would have told us if we'd gotten to see her?"  Tony mused.

"Two things. We're both gay and we are totally fucked."

>>

Aloha oe,

AJ

Currently listening : Music for a Bachelor’s Den, Volume 6: More of the Best of the Arthur Lyman Group By Arthur Lyman Release date: 1996-04-01