Current mood: animated

 Hi Everyone,

This is is a duplicate of my very first post today for 7 Wicked Writers www.sevenwickedwriters.com and since we are all writers of fairly wicked prose, I have to say one of the driving forces in many romance novels and yes, even the gay ones like I write, is jealousy.

In art and life, jealousy can be a dandy motivator. In my Phantom Lover series, my hero Kimo is the target of jealousy from others who covet his mystical, magical power. But he is a demigod and I am a hapless hack who tells the tales he dictates even when I'm sleeping.

I suffer jealousies too. Just yesterday, my lovely man who lives in another city, sent me an email and asked me if I could track down a copy of the DVD of the TV series Torchwood. "I am in love with Jack," he wrote. "That man kisses with his whole body."

What? What the heck is he saying? That I, AJ Llewellyn do not kiss with my whole body? What do I kiss him with? Half my lip and a pinkie finger? I read and reread that email and yep, that insensitve Canadian crumb really wrote that to me. I debated how to respond and decided the truth was most appropriate.

After a long walk with the dog, I came back with my funnybone a little less dislocated and wrote, "Hon, bad news. Jack is dead. Yep, hacked to pieces. Shame, eh?"

He wrote back: "Oh, that is sad. Can you find the DVD for me anyway? Kisses…"

I wrote back, "Sure." What I didn't add and it burned my fingers not to, was: Don't hold your breath, you clueless Canuck! The fat lady's sung!!

Now, in fairness, I probably am guilty of similar transgressions. I have mentioned more than a passing fantasy about Francois Sagat…but that didn't mean I wanted my man to run off and learn to make love like a porn star…although come to think of it…

Ahem. As I was saying, here's the thing. I am jealous of a fictional character. My love rival isn't real but hell's bells, I write fictional gay man and I know how compelling they can be. A fictional gay man can't complain about the toothpaste cap being left off or the sheets being hogged or your food being poached in classy restaurants. A fictional lover is perfect. They don't say, "Hey, babe, you got bad breath there." They're too busy kissing you with their whole bodies…

A fictional man doesn't scrutinize every word, every unspoken word for a hint of trouble. They don't criticize, judge, fart or fumble a perfect moment under a full moon. No, they kiss with their whole body.

Now the guy in question who plays Jack may not be gay but I don't give a crap. My man covets what he does with his mouth and I sure wish I knew voodoo because I think his lips would look very pretty with a severe case of canker sores. Mmmmm…

My man and I have not discussed this issue in person and probably won't. He probably thinks, oh, AJ is such a clown. But he has no clue that unlike Lord Byron who once said, "Jealousy dislikes the world to know it," my jealousy is out there on its own…and I am forced to maybe think about laying off the cupcakes. I mean he has mentioned that but I thought it was in jest. So I now find myself thinking about how to improve myself. I am not perfect, and I do tend to believe jeans and Aloha shirts are formal wear, so maybe I can learn a thing or two from that rotten, stinking bastard Jack and that ever-ready bunny body of his.

Maybe I need to do none of these, but like I said, jealousy is a dandy motivator. So excuse me whilst I go practice kissing with my whole body…the list of things to do with my day suddenly got a whole lot more interesting.

Aloha oe,

AJ

Currently listening : The Voice of the Sparrow: The Very Best of Edith Piaf By Edith Piaf Release date: 1991-07-30